Stephen Elliott.

Stephen Elliott
Nov. 13, Molten Java, 102 Greenwood Ave., Bethel, (203) 739-0313, moltenjavaevents.com

These days when people abuse amphetamines, it's called "cosmetic neurology." Amphetamines help you to focus, stay up late, work longer hours, sleep less. Party harder.

Stephen Elliott's The Adderall Diaries: A Memoir of Moods, Masochism, and Murder chronicles the author's addiction to Adderall, the popular drug, similar to Ritalin, that's prescribed for people with attention-deficit disorder. But though Elliott has named his memoir (and seventh book) for the drug, and does continuously use it throughout (and, he admits, after) the book, his use and abuse of Adderall is one of many components to a complex autobiographical narrative.

The Adderall Diaries, a "meta memoir" jumps back and forth between Elliott's adolescence, his past relationships with various women, sexual encounters with various men, his experiences as a stripper and a murder trial he's writing a book about (which ends up being this book).

A runaway at 13, Elliott grew up in and out of group homes in Chicago, following his mother's death from multiple sclerosis. His toxic relationship with his father, whom Elliott depicts as womanizing, sociopathic and abusive, is central to The Adderall Diaries, as Elliott works his way through the murder trial, his drug abuse and difficult reconciliation with his father.

This memoir seems a relief for the writer, who told me by phone from San Francisco that he considers it to be his best book. His previous novels, works of fiction centering even more heavily on sadomasochistic sex and drugs, were a way, he said, to write about his actual experiences with S&M and overdosing.

"If you write like I do, using your personal experience as foundation for your art," Elliott said, "you come out of a closet. But every time you come out of the closet, it's like you're in another closet. Nobody shoots heroin without first smoking a cigarette."

Diaries details episodes of depression, attempted suicide, overdose, homicide, rough and brutal sex and love, with little resolution in the end.

"One person I was talking to said they were really unsatisfied that I hadn't resolved my issues," he said. "The reason I haven't come to a conclusion in the end is that I'm still trying to come to that conclusion. ... You know, a book, it's a treasure hunt, a detective story. You're honestly asking questions: Who am I? What is my place in this world? But sometimes you look for treasure and you don't find it."

I asked Elliott if he felt he was a better writer on Adderall.

"It's hard to say," he said. "I think that you're borrowing, you know? ... Look at Dave Eggers. I don't think he has ever smoked pot and his books are getting better and better. I think Hunter Thompson, a real American genius, could've written 20 great books. Instead he wrote three. ... [He was] trying to recapture some former glory but unable to because he'd burnt out. So, yeah, you know, I worry. I wanna stay healthy."

Elliott's currently doing readings at people's houses. If you can gather about 20 friends together and give him a place to crash for the night, he'll come. This week's reading at Molten Java was organized by a Connecticut reader who preferred to relocate the reading to a cafe. (But she's still putting him up for the night.)

Elliott said a lot of people ask him for Adderall, which he still takes in small doses.

"I'm not comfortable taking Adderall in front of people," he said. "But some things — talking about BDSM and wearing women's clothes ... I'm comfortable with that."

If you want Stephen to come to your house, go to stephenelliott.com and ask him to.